In My Sights - One More Time

With Round 5 fading slowly it looks like number 6 will not be this week coming up but the following week, I hope. My platelets are still way to low. I find it interesting how my symptoms in some ways are better and other ways worse. It looks like I will have at least some of my nails fall off, because some of them are separating from my fingers. I try to keep them wrapped up so they don't catch on anything.

I also have some swelling in my legs and feet. I think it came on slowly so I didn't recognize it at first. Today has been not to bad though, so I think my body is getting stronger or I decided to try and do less work and rest more.  I also have a lot of bruises but those are fading away. I could use prayers still for my platelets to go up.

Round Five

I was able to get my fifth infusion today, on Tuesday. It has been a good day because now I can say just one more time for the hard stuff.

It's Friday now and so far this has gone better than some other times. I am getting better at my chemo infusion skills. Staying calm and looking for balance, your prayers and the blessings of the Lord are helping me get through.

Round Five For Real

I have been a little apprehensive this last week on whether or not I would have my platelets back up ready for an other try this week. I went ahead though and started my fast Sunday night. Sunday I also asked for a blessing. When I woke up Monday morning and had to consider what to do about taking the steroids, that have me be awake Tuesday morning at 12:50 am typing away, I felt very strongly that it would be Ok and I would move forward in faith.
It has been a very good day for me. I did more research on platelets and studied about a genetic connection to warfarin and heparin sensitivity. I reviewed with my doctors nurse about my lab work, platelet levels and my infusions over the past few times. I did find out that last time I was pretty low before starting round four, so that is really why I dropped so low after. Good news is I think I will be in much better shape this time, but we will see. I have 8:00 labs in Salt Lake so until then I think this will be a go. After that I am so looking forward to saying only one more hard one and I am done with that part.
The other things that have made this a great day.
I started it with being able to put aside my doubts over the last few days to have more faith in the Lord that it will be Ok.
I listened to conference Saturday morning session. That was very nice.
I did laundry
Precooked some things for meals, I am feeling very good about this
Picked some produce, shared some of it, and put blankets over my beans and tomatoes
Got to do a little visiting with my family and some friends
Focused on breathing and staying present with life

Mark taught early morning seminary for 26 years in California. Every morning before the students left for the day he would say " I love you. There is evil in the world stay close to the Lord today."  I would add this for all of you " I love you. There is evil, and pain, and trials, challenges that we would rather not have, but more and more I learn the blessings of being truly close to the Lord so that I will hear what it is he has to say, feel his love, receive it and share it."

At first the following scriptures may seem not to fit together that well, but I hope you might take time to consider them. I went looking for a different scripture and found this, but I feel I was meant to consider this tonight. Christ's example of Love and how we can apply that to ourselves ns others.  We know that there are many examples of weakness, trial, sin, infirmity, and that many of these principles overlap. As I read this it reaffirmed that in all things we need the Grace of the Lord. You are loved, He wants you to succeed and has made it possible.  Grace is the thing that we must grasp hold of to heal from all these things. It is the power that enables us, not to make up the difference, but to actually change us and others through the process of sanctification. I know I need this every day. Love for myself and others, hope in Christ to accept his gift offered to all in love and patience to receive the gift of salvation from this mortal existence.
Love Caren

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Moroni 8:16

Wo be unto them that shall pervert the ways of the Lord after this manner, for they shall perish except they repent. Behold, I speak with boldness, having authority from God; and I fear not what man can do; for perfect love casteth out all fear.

Hebrews  4:15,16 and chapter 5:1-3,7-9

15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

 16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

1 For every high priest taken from among men is ordained for men in things pertaining to God, that he may offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins:

 2 Who can have compassion on the ignorant, and on them that are bout of the way; for that he himself also is compassed with infirmity.

 3 And by reason hereof he ought, as for the people, so also for himself, to offer for sins.

 7 Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;

 8 Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

 9 And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;

Questions I asked myself reading these verses
How can I use the power of love to not be afraid?
How does knowing Christ's love for me, teach me to love and have compassion for others?
How can suffering teach me obedience?
 Can I feel more peace and love knowing that Christ knows my infirmities?
What attributes can I develop that will help me to better love myself and others so that I will not have fear?
How can I help others to not be afraid?
How do we manifest fear in our relationships with each other that keep us from developing perfect love?
How can suffering help to perfect us?
 

Something For Fun

Yummy Soap - It feels yummy - Smells yummy - I didn't try tasting it.

 

Last weekend my daughter in law and I made soap. I haven't done that for many years. I have made olive oil soap before and one time I rendered my own lard to make soap. My daughter in law she made her own lye before, I don't know if I will try that or not. I like to know how to do things though so I might. We put lemon essential oil in it and she had some orange ginger fragrance.We added poppy seeds for something fun. Here is a picture of it.

My Platelets

 I have been trying to learn more about platelets and how I can help my body to make more of them. Here are a few things I learned about platelets.

• Platelets or thrombocytes are about 20% the size of a red blood cell
• The physiological range for platelets is (150 – 400) × 10³ per mm³.
• Platelets are produced in blood cell formation (thrombopoiesis) in bone marrow, by budding off from megakaryocyte
• Megakaryocyte and platelet production is regulated by thrombopoietin, a hormone usually produced by the liver and kidneys
• Each megakaryocyte produces between 5,000 and 10,000 platelets.
• Around 10¹¹ platelets are produced each day by an average healthy adult.
• Reserve platelets are stored in the spleen, and are released when needed by sympathetically induced splenic contraction.
• The lifespan of circulating platelets is 5 to 9 days.
• Old platelets are destroyed by phagocytosis in the spleen and by Kupffer cells in the liver.
• Some people have genetic variants that can make them more susceptible to drugs like Warfarin or Heparin and so they will need less of these drugs so they do not cause problems with platelets.
         

 
     This is two megakaryocytes in bone marrow                           Platelets budding off of a megakaryocyte

For my body to make more platelets a series of things must happen but to make it really simple. Eat right, dark greens, berries, fresh vegetables, vitamin K, eggs, and fish, are good for protein. stay hydrated with room temperature water, get sleep, exercise in moderation, Be HAPPY.

The rest of this story is under the post Round Five for Real

 

A Rough Few Days

I am not sure how I ended up feeling so awful for the last few days. I think it started with no sleep from the steroids and the next night just a few hours of sleep. Things just hit me pretty hard, basically exhaustion, which made it hard to be to also remember not to lose my positive outlook. So then that cycle starts, you feel bad so you don't take care of yourself as well and then you feel worse. Well I finally got a few good nights of sleep and I am feeling much better.  I am still needing your prayers, especially for my platelet count to go up. Thank you for all your love.
Caren

Round Five

Delayed!
Not the most fun. I was looking forward to being only left with number 6. I will go back next week for 5. My platelets were too low this time. There isn't really anything I can do about it but wait for my bones to make more. To bad there isn't a way for me to know before things are all set that it wont be working out. So the positive is maybe other things will have a chance to feel really well before hitting it again.

The Best Team

Mark found this study information and I thought I would share it if you are interested. It's a study on how marriage improves your cancer survival.

http://www.cancer.net/publications-and-resources/research-round/news-patients-journal-clinical-oncology/research-round-large-study-finds-association-between-marriage-status-and-improved-cancer-outcomes

A continuing thank you to all my team for all your love, prayers, and support
Love Caren