My Way Prepared

And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led. 1 Nephi 17:13

  I want to share with you how this little journey started. First some back ground. I have had PTSD symptoms associated with the medical community from several very bad experiences with doctors at Kaiser in California. I will let you know they most likely saved my life as many times as they tried through neglect to kill or seriously harm me. So I am grateful for being alive but they do not have any excuse for their other repeated bad behavior. When I moved here I was not in the mood to see any doctor for any reason my mistrust was so high.

Since moving here we have had a different experience than we had with Kaiser. With very few exceptions, people have been amazingly kind and listened.

There have been many blessings for us being in Utah but for Mark and I our health may have been the greatest. I met my surgeon when I went with my sister Lora to one of her appointments when she had cancer 3 years ago. I was very impressed with her surgeon and felt comfortable with her so I new immediately when I was diagnosed with cancer I would go to see her. She recommended my plastic surgeon who has been excellent. When she mentioned doctors near by for oncology though I new that didn't feel right to me. Because Mark has been seeing a doctor at the University of Utah, I was aware of the Huntsman Cancer Institute. I gave them a call and explained my situation of first and foremost needing a doctor that would listen. I have a great oncologist , she is also a cancer survivor herself. The people there are fantastic.
My best blessing is having such a great Team. Number one on my team is Mark I don't know how I would do this without him. To have someone to grow closer to everyday. To trust and hold you when you're afraid. To hold the priesthood to give blessings of healing, comfort and hope. And all the other stuff like get the ice bags and a ride to the doctor and tell me to eat even if I have no appetite and massage my toes.  Then my family is been so great to me. I feel so much of their love and prayers and help. And then all my dear friends spread across the world. You all mean so much to me. To literally feel your love and faith in my behalf strengthens me. Thank you all for being part of my Team.

In May Mark and I were able to take a Panama Canal Cruise. It was a blessing to just relax and have fun together. One of the things I did was to read a book called Change Your Question, Change Your Life. Having a fresh focus on good questions was a great blessing at this time. I think that when we find ourselves in a hard place the questions we ask have a huge impact on our outcome. So that of instead of, Why me? I have tried to ask myself things like, What can I learn from this? How will it help me to serve others? What new opportunities will I have because of this experience? What things are most important right now?

  In May after we got back I decided to go in for my annual physical.  I wanted also to see about getting some help for my back. I made the appointment for the physical therapy. I had gone last year they had helped me some with my shoulder but the exercise seemed to aggravate my back. After telling them this multiple times I felt they were not listening so I quit going.  I made this new appointment hoping to do something to help my back.  The morning of the appointment I started to worry that they might not listen to me, it turned to PTS  and I cancelled out 45 minutes before the appointment. I felt so traumatized about it I told Mark I didn't want anything to do with the medical field because I was not happy with them. I think that was on a Thursday. As I was sitting in Sacrament Meeting on Sunday the Spirit began to work on me.  To calm me down and tell me to make an appointment for a mammogram. That next Wednesday I was having an ultrasound and mammogram and was scheduled for a biopsy.

I am so grateful for the blessing of the Holy Ghost to lead me past my own fears and inclinations. I feel the hand of the Lord in my life. He has prepared the way for me to be able to take this journey to be healed. I am very blessed.

Thanks again for being part of my Team
Love Caren