Round Five For Real

I have been a little apprehensive this last week on whether or not I would have my platelets back up ready for an other try this week. I went ahead though and started my fast Sunday night. Sunday I also asked for a blessing. When I woke up Monday morning and had to consider what to do about taking the steroids, that have me be awake Tuesday morning at 12:50 am typing away, I felt very strongly that it would be Ok and I would move forward in faith.
It has been a very good day for me. I did more research on platelets and studied about a genetic connection to warfarin and heparin sensitivity. I reviewed with my doctors nurse about my lab work, platelet levels and my infusions over the past few times. I did find out that last time I was pretty low before starting round four, so that is really why I dropped so low after. Good news is I think I will be in much better shape this time, but we will see. I have 8:00 labs in Salt Lake so until then I think this will be a go. After that I am so looking forward to saying only one more hard one and I am done with that part.
The other things that have made this a great day.
I started it with being able to put aside my doubts over the last few days to have more faith in the Lord that it will be Ok.
I listened to conference Saturday morning session. That was very nice.
I did laundry
Precooked some things for meals, I am feeling very good about this
Picked some produce, shared some of it, and put blankets over my beans and tomatoes
Got to do a little visiting with my family and some friends
Focused on breathing and staying present with life

Mark taught early morning seminary for 26 years in California. Every morning before the students left for the day he would say " I love you. There is evil in the world stay close to the Lord today."  I would add this for all of you " I love you. There is evil, and pain, and trials, challenges that we would rather not have, but more and more I learn the blessings of being truly close to the Lord so that I will hear what it is he has to say, feel his love, receive it and share it."

At first the following scriptures may seem not to fit together that well, but I hope you might take time to consider them. I went looking for a different scripture and found this, but I feel I was meant to consider this tonight. Christ's example of Love and how we can apply that to ourselves ns others.  We know that there are many examples of weakness, trial, sin, infirmity, and that many of these principles overlap. As I read this it reaffirmed that in all things we need the Grace of the Lord. You are loved, He wants you to succeed and has made it possible.  Grace is the thing that we must grasp hold of to heal from all these things. It is the power that enables us, not to make up the difference, but to actually change us and others through the process of sanctification. I know I need this every day. Love for myself and others, hope in Christ to accept his gift offered to all in love and patience to receive the gift of salvation from this mortal existence.
Love Caren

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Moroni 8:16

Wo be unto them that shall pervert the ways of the Lord after this manner, for they shall perish except they repent. Behold, I speak with boldness, having authority from God; and I fear not what man can do; for perfect love casteth out all fear.

Hebrews  4:15,16 and chapter 5:1-3,7-9

15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

 16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

1 For every high priest taken from among men is ordained for men in things pertaining to God, that he may offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins:

 2 Who can have compassion on the ignorant, and on them that are bout of the way; for that he himself also is compassed with infirmity.

 3 And by reason hereof he ought, as for the people, so also for himself, to offer for sins.

 7 Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;

 8 Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;

 9 And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;

Questions I asked myself reading these verses
How can I use the power of love to not be afraid?
How does knowing Christ's love for me, teach me to love and have compassion for others?
How can suffering teach me obedience?
 Can I feel more peace and love knowing that Christ knows my infirmities?
What attributes can I develop that will help me to better love myself and others so that I will not have fear?
How can I help others to not be afraid?
How do we manifest fear in our relationships with each other that keep us from developing perfect love?
How can suffering help to perfect us?